See: our racist project of world domination is fun and playful, like a puzzle–except a puzzle gone horribly, brutally, ruthlessly wrong./Image: Licensed Adobe stock, Jamrooferpix.
A little more to your left…now a touch to the right. Hold on–the right corner facing me can just shift up a little. Perfect! Oh, hey, Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) readers! I, Marla Stewman, the woman who calls herself a design “expert” with little talent, skill, or right of any sort to call herself that knowing you’ll believe any information imparted via right-wing media except the truth (despite your faux-populist distrust of the entire concept of expertise), was just telling a Mexican-immigrant laborer where to position this oh-so-flammable couch before having that poor soul deported because I believe in some sort of right non-Jewish whites have to dominion over everything. I can always take time out from even ultra-important tasks, like obsessing over couch placement, for my dear, sweet, conservative readership, however.
Fear not! Today, I wanted to fill you in on some design ideas based on the book Guns, Germs, and Steel: the Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond. It’s a study exhaustive in topical breadth and meticulous research that proves ineluctably that accidents of physical environment, not any genetic necessity, caused the paths of separate societies to unfold the way they did over the course of human history. For one instance–or three–the undiscriminating use of firearms (our favorite on the right!) in down-and-dirty warfare, the birth and propagation of germ-based illnesses capable of wiping out huge swaths of humanity, and the manufacture and use of steel in, all founded on capabilities of European races based on their physical location, allowed said peeps to conquer the world. And that’s like a big, comfy couch for our big, childish egos here on the right.
Related: BTS at a poor-policy-and-implementation seminar at the Orange…er, White House.
Guns are More Important Than Anything, Anything
Whitney Houston sang, “I believe the children are our future,” in her 1980s classic, “The Greatest Love of All.” She must have been a liberal! For we on the right seem to think that our obsessive paranoia about the government coming to get us should there be any restriction on our totally-not-true Constitutional right to personal gun ownership is more important than the thousands of lives cut short every year from gun violence. Hence, no matter how many lives–of any age, frankly are taken by firearms, we’ll just keep on crowing about the Second Freaking Amendment. These lovely implements called guns are the nothings-fair-in-warfare methods we used to ruthlessly mow down all those who stood in the maniacal European occupation of every corner of the Earth. For more on how physical environment enabled us to do so, see Diamond’s book
A great thing to rest next to you while you do so is–you guessed it!–a gun. What a way to use the right’s favorite phallic instrument of death as a portable decorative accent. Just lean it up against a wall anywhere in your home that you go, readers!
Supergerms: Not Exactly a Marvel Comic
Who doesn’t love a good superhero–he or she who took some sort of pain and used it to fashion a brave, humble, touchingly flawed, evil-fighting identity? Well, that whole narrative just doesn’t speak to some people, but it does to boys and men, so in a patriarchy like the Western one, it’ll always be valorized.
Syphilis, —–, and —— are three examples of illnesses that colonize their host organisms and allowed unwashed Europeans to spread across the planet using illness as a weapon in multi-pronged campaigns of Earthly conquest. People can’t stop your from coming if blood won’t stop spewing from their bodily orifices, readers!
I say, fashion a breakfast nook out of some stools and a table made in the image of a petri dish. Germs will simply spring forth from the organic ether all over them and spread like…well, germs! Then you and all who come in contact with these fantabulous design choices will get sick and die, just like the races who non-Jewish whites subjugated for centuries and still want to.
Steel the Show
You know, if the show is the globe and everything that happens on it.
Steel equipment, ideal for all the toughness, resilience, and harshness that Euro-hegemony over this spinning orb called Earth required, is the last ingredient in the Non-Jewish-Whites-Are-the-Bosses-of-Everyone recipe that we’ve all been indulging in the fruit of for centuries now. One thing steel is great for is furniture! Granted, it’s not the most comfortable material in the world, but some things are greater than physical comfort. One such thing is the emotional and mental “comfort” that will come from your corporeal discomfort when it interacts with steel furniture, given that it’ll be a constant reminder of what a set of cojones need to be made of if they’re to enable the supremacy of one race of people over all others. Get a table made of shiny steel, a chair constructed of it, or even some cute accents like picture frames or vases fashioned out of this fantabulous substance and fill your ironically-less-well-constructed-than-those-items home with said crap. Fun for everyone–well, that won’t be a good reminder for the poor suckers whose people were decimated, damaged, or driven into slow extinction using steel stuff. As a member of the Alt-right, however, I’m assuming no such unsavory types will be in your home, so we’re good there.
Quick–if you slam your laptop shut, hop race out the door, hop into your car, slam on the gas, text while driving, and scream at other drivers the entire way, you might still make it to a local corporate chain retail establishment in time to sink your valuable ducats into purchases that’ll allow you to realize your own flavor of stupid as far as these moronic ideas I’ve wasted my  time writing about. It wasn’t enough for me to waste my own time, however! I wanted to spread the poor-life-choices, as has become the way of the right wing in contemporary conserva-politics in the U.S. of A. Hence, I lured you in with the art of the bullshitter, writing, and then seduced your ocular rods in cones into plodding your pupils across every word of this loony-because-it’s-like-get-something-useful-to-do-Marla article. And now, I trust you to use my suggestions to make your home, your soul, and all the cheap junk that fills both of those entities worse by using them.
Also: Some steak-based meal ideas for Alt-political stakeholders.
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