“I think I’m gonna be sick.” –Elliott Broidy, ex-RNC Donor, not pictured./Image: Licensed Adobe stock, Prostock-studio.
Gustatory Greetings, Tasty Traditionalists!
Disgusting Piece of Trash
A phrase we, especially, I Julia Kidd, use a lot here at Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) is “disgusting piece of trash.” I say, “especially me,” because “disgust” comes up a lot when you’re a food columnist. You’d be surprised how very many chances we get to use this handy-dandy phrase when talking about Republican politics in 2018. Or maybe you wouldn’t be surprised, because all of us on the right of the political spectrum know how repugnant, repulsive, and revolting President Donald J. Trump’s behavior is, we just figure we have to remain mum about it to continue using the appeal he’s bringing to our political party, one that would cease to exist were it not for the least-common-denominator-Trump-appeal.
Wonders, dear SYRW readers, will never cease, it appears. After going on two years of Republicans and right-wingers, like us and you, rationalizing, justifying, explaining away, and worst of all, simply excusing, every disgusting thing Trump does, ONE of us, Elliott Broidy, objects so strongly to His Orangeness’ barf-based behavior that he actually resigned from the R.N.C. based on his puke-y opposition to a Trump mistress being paid off, as reported by Rebecca Ballhaus and Julie Bykowicz of the Wall Street Journal.
Anywho! Back to disgust, the feeling that causes stomachs to churn, skin to green, and cookies to toss. Humans develop this oh-so-homo-sapiens ability to find something so repellent it makes us physically uncomfortable, sometimes to the point of actual emesis, between four and eight. In adolescence, the ability to be disgusted reaches its zenith. It declines after that, even at a steady pace.
We acquire disgust through direct experience, observational modeling, communication of negative information—and associative learning.” according to Jeffrey Lockwood, Ph.D. who studies the “Ick” phenomenon, in an article in Scientific American.
Here are some super-blech meal ideas that are just this side of not-doable to try out in the Cucina!
Related: How to use money to silence people in some tres Alt-creative ways. that that humans
On Second Thought
Perhaps describing in detail nastiness-based meals is going a step too far, dear SYRW readers. We have such a skill with the written word, not gonna lie, a flair for description, and sense-based ability to truly lay it on thick, that when we began to think up meals based on all that humans would find foul, nasty, and sickening, it became too much for us. We’ll leave you to devise your own gag-inducing repasts.
We can offer some guidelines. Humans are genetically predisposed to find things that creep, crawl, stink, and ooze objectionable. So, insects, excrement, and rotting flesh might be good ways to go! Culture and environment work with our innate capacity for aversion to develop our antipathy for stuff. Also think of it this way, loves: what we find abhorrent varies depending on time and place, but the way we express our odium is consistent over time and place, a fun fact we learned from the article linked above. Though different epochs and societies find different things unpalatable, the facial expressions that result from distaste are the same.
Although, even the creeping-crawling-stinking-oozing thing can vary. In some non-American cultures, people eat insects, for example. However, we’re going to guess you’d be hard-pressed to find any culture ever who eats rotting carcasses. That being said, there was an episode of Fear Factor on which contestants dined on roadkill for just the hope of winning $10,000. So, there’s that. Lots of grossness-variation, is the point.
Now, disgust at things like bodily fluids, for example, isn’t the same as moral disgust, we get it, but whether it’s the former or the latter, we express it through gasping breath, clutching stomachs, gagging motions and sound, and all those other wonderful aspects of stomach-churning induction, which now include, because of Elliott Broidy, resigning and walking away from the Republican Gross-Out Party. They totes make us want to gag ourselves with a spoon–but we don’t need the spoon, because they’re awful people and that takes care of the wretching a spoon would provide in that iconic 1980s colloquialism.
And: The real story behind the “witch hunt” at the White House.
Kids Are Everything That Is Magical and Good
Given that adolescents have the most highly developed disgust reflex, if you will, it can’t be coincidental that the Parkland kids and their peers can so clearly, plainly, and without hesitation see that DJT, the NRA, and lots more right-wing horrors must be stopped. What’s truly world-changing about these epic young people is that they haven’t been raised in the time when American culture valorized nothing but the mendacious pursuit of profit, empty self-promotion, cruel othering, and worst of all, silence in the face of injustice. They’ve been raised to value themselves and others, to see that sentient life is inherently of value and to be cherished, and not to let anyone tell them differently. Put those two ingredients together and you have the deeply moral, boldly ethical, and heartbreakingly beautiful-in-the-ways-that-count people who are going to get stuff–good stuff–done.
Back to the Adults–Puke!
Do all you 1980s kiddos remember the Mr. Yuk sticker? It was a registered trademark of the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, then used nationwide to label substances that kids needed to be aware were icky and not to be touched. Honestly, we should hold DJT down and tattoo it on him.
Wait–does this mean that we’re now admitting we Alt-righters carry Zofran, the anti-emetic prescription pharmaceutical around with us everywhere we go, remaining ready to be sickened by Trump’s assault on morality, ethics, decorum, civility, and kindness that occur multiple times a day? The next logical step is, of course, to wash our hands of this awful person, The Donald, and make our party appealing based on whatever philosophy we decide should motivate it, rather than using a debased human to draw adherents into its orbit by playing to their most basic instincts. If more than just this one R.N.C. donor decides to have some disgust-based dignity, then maybe we will have to take a long, hard look at our party and make changes based on what we find in order to remain culturally relevant. Of course, at this moment, it doesn’t look much like more than this one person is ready to take a stand…after doubling over, wretching, and drooling onto the ground.
Until next week, then, readers, I Julie Kidd, wish you bon appetit, cheers, and salut!
Also: How to remain calm as the FBI raids your office, a la Michael Cohen, Esq,
We at Spread Your Right Wings generally don’t like people, the Internet, or interacting with people on the Internet. Seek out someone—in person—to talk to and laugh with about this article. Check back with us as we continue to mock the right wing. Follow us on Twitter at @worstaltlife join our Facebook group, and follow us on Instagram at @worstaltlife. If you simply must get in touch with us, DM us through our Facebook group. Also, please, please see the disclaimer in our About section.
© 2018 Akbar Khan
