Being marginalized hurts./Image: Licensed Adobe stock, alice_photo.
Greetings, Alt-reading lovers!
It’s nice to see you in the Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) library, still at it, devouring book after book, trying to fill your mind with the most right-wing nonsense possible. That’s called dedication! And it’s going to pay off for you and the broader Alt-cause in spades. We brought you some hot, irresponsibly-sourced tea to sip while you look through some of the poorly-researched, badly-argued conservative titles in here. Wait one second–what’s that you have there? A liberal book! Oh no! The Impact of Inequality: How to Make Sick Societies Healthier by Richard Wilkinson. Don’t pay any mind to that dreck! Ok, fine, You want to discuss just one sentence from it? Go ahead.
Oppression–Ow, That Hurts!
The Impact of Inequality explores how low social status–being devalued and looked down on–has devastating effects on people’s lives and communities.
That explains why we on the right-wing have always felt so good! Until now when we’ve just begun feeling marginalized and like we’re not the top-dogs anymore. That’s probably one of the reasons opioid addiction is ravaging white, rural communities. Our people are struggling with feelings of despair, fear, insecurity, helplessness, and hopelessness. It’s no wonder being high is looking so attractive to us.
Related: See what Melania wants her new pet project to be.
Turn Your Head to the Right…and Cough for Me
“Nurtured by gentler early childhoods, aided by more generous material conditions, and perhaps fostered by our daily diet of TV, films, and theater, which encourage us to identify at least with the fictional lives of others, the long-term social trend associated with economic growth has, despite short-term reversals, been toward a gentler and egalitarian basis of social relationships,” writes Wilkinson in The Impact.
Well, la-de-da! La-de-frickin’-da! So we’re just supposed to abandon our lifelong commitment to regressive, reactionary politics because increased equality for everyone betters our lives, too? Are we to simply jump on board when something is clearly, objectively, demonstrably better for us? It’s lunacy! Heresy! Unthinkable and untenable! We won’t do it!
WHAT DO WE WANT? WE’RE NOT SURE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WE JUST SAID WE’RE NOT SURE!
Just leave us alone! Leave us alone, for Pete’s sake. We’ll figure this out on our own. We’ve never accepted help from anyone before, why should we accept it now? Wait–should we? Should we look around at our communities and ahead to our futures and think to maybe reach out, join together, and use what we find, in allying with other communities, to make a better future for our one, big community called humanity?
Bandages for All
You would think getting a taste of what it’s been like for centuries for African-American communities would make us more sympathetic to their struggle and then work together to find solutions to uplift us all. But no–it has made us lash out, violently sometimes, and take out on society the stress we feel because of our poor life prospects.
Yes, we would rather give paranoid speeches at CPAC 2018; label every development in the political arena we don’t like, “Fake News;” and vote for a shockingly unfit person for president because he tells us he’s going to Make America [Us] Great Again.
Do We Need Stitches?
No! Our wounds will heal just fine if everything simply goes back to the way it was: everyone else was in pain, and we felt good. Who could possibly have a problem with that? No one we know! During the centuries and centuries when the white heterosexist patriarchy was in full swing–like an Alt-right party–we put a man on the moon, won the Cold War, invented the Internet, and spread fast-food culture all over the planet! As Charlie Sheen once said, “Winning!”
And now, the liberal establishment–media, academia, Democratic politicians want to rewrite the rules and divide the power that was once ours among other societal stakeholders more evenly? We don’t think so! No, we at SYRW don’t think so.
We Hurt, So They Should Hurt Too
We’re not going to allow there to be healing for anyone’s wounds–not ours, not those of others. Instead, we’re going to just tear it all down–nay, burn it all down. Then we’ll rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. Either that, or be buried under the ash, suffocate, and die. At this point, we don’t care which happens. We’d rather annihilate the whole system than share power. If we can’t have it all, no one can.
Some would say, “Grow up, Get a therapist. Get a grip.” But there is no one to act like the adult in the situation in such a manner. We are the adults, and we’re not going to say that to ourselves, now are we?
Kids Say the Leftist Things
Speaking of which, our own youth may be the ones to look out for. They were raised in a time of equal-rights-expected-for-all, gender-non-conformism, an expectation of responsible environmental stewardship, and a whole host of other progressive (oh, god, it hurts to type it!) causes at the forefront of the cultural conversation. The Deep State did a number on them, and it may be too late to make them “Great” again. So we may just have to cut our losses, and weep silently as we watch our beautiful, blond, blue-eyed children create a more just, egalitarian society in concert with they form partnerships with people from other communities.
What did we do to deserve this? What in the world did we do to deserve such ungrateful brats for children? Instead of growing into gun nuts who imagine themselves hot, like Dana Loesch, but are actually physically repellent because they spend their time advocating for little machines of death; telling everyone they meet that White Lives Matter; and–if they really loved us–marching with very fine Neo-Nazis–they’re making society more inclusive and thereby increasing its overall health. Overall health? What about our health? Oh, god, let’s hold each other and weep, instead of seeing what progressivism is all about and moving society forward.
And: Top three ways Trump is unfit for the presidency–which is something we Alt-ers love, obvi.
Your Next Appointment Is…
Soon. Very soon. We’ll read Wilkinson’s book, maybe–not making any promises–and think about things. We don’t have much experience with thinking, but we’ll give it a whirl. We don’t have much more to lose, after all, do we?
Until next time, Alt-readers, may the brute force of guns be with you!
Also: How to dress for on-the-job purges.
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© 2018 Akbar Khan
