Alt-community, you gotta get your knees in good knee-jerk reaction health!/Image: Licensed Adobe stock, Csaba Deli.
Salutary and Salubrious Salutations, traditionalist health-seekers!
As you, our dear Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) readers, know, and given that we’re all as Alt-right as they come, one of our main modes of communicating, besides spreading disinformation and conspiracy theories gleaned from illegitimate far-right “news” sources, is having knee-jerk reactions to actual, real, fact-checked, verified news from sources we don’t like. Those include any in the Mainstream Media (MSM) or left-leaning publications, which are among the world’s most time-tested, beyond-reproach publications who admit when they’re wrong and publish corrections, unlike the far-right media.
We have some tips on knee and overall joint health to make sure you can spasmodically extend your (right) knee in a proud, Alt-effort to counter any news or information that comes your way that you don’t like, because it doesn’t confirm your biases, it opposes some knowledge or belief that keeps you in your comfort zone, or would require you to say, “I was wrong about something and will now change my thinking on this.” That’s unthinkable for us arrogant and self-ego-coddling right-wingers these days!
Why We “Kneed” Our Knees
The knee is the largest joint in the body, and one of the most easily injured. It is made up of four main things: bones, cartilage, ligaments, and tendons,” according to Ortho Info. Given that this crucial joint allows for so much of our mobility, flexibility, and general movement, an indispensable connective part of our anatomy near the juncture between our upper and lower bodies, one thing is for sure. And that is, our knees must be pliable, malleable, and generally springy to ensure our full ability to march in Alt-right protests, tread on the rights of marginalized groups lest they gain too much cultural power, and, of course, support our knee-jerk reactions, positive or negative, to any information that enters our consciousness. Generally, the idiom, “knee-jerk” reaction, has negative consequences, implying a response that is unthinking and hasty. But, hey, now! Our knees our Alt-knees, so we shamelessly embrace this negative connotation as if its some badge of honor in the social war we fancy ourselves fighting in against societal progress. After all, they don’t call the those on the right-wing of the political spectrum “reactionary” for nothing, right
A Man Beyond Reproach
It goes without saying–but we’ll say it anyway–that President Donald Trump is and always has been infallible.
“Shardea, a 73-year-old in Phoenix, believes Donald Trump is “the most intelligent, powerful, courageous president we’ve had in years,” a man with not just knowledge but ‘superpower knowledge,'” reported the Toronto Star last December. Ok, then! We guess that’s the point we right-wingers have come to.
This kind of unthinking, automatic response to any criticism of His Orangeness, such as that Trump tells several lies a day as president, which is what the Toronto Star told Ms. Shardea to elicit the above reaction requires well-lubricated joints.
“The best way to care for your joints is to keep them and your muscles, ligaments, and bones strong and stable. Here are some tips for good joint health,” according to Web Md. Follow their nine tips to maximize knee -joint health.
That way, when you hear some self-aggrandizing, baseless lie out of Trump’s or one of his acolyte’s mouths, you can kick that robust knee forward and voice your unmitigated confidence in its veracity and your undying support for it, just like Agent Orange wants.
And: In Readings, we review four iterations or U.S. democracy and how Trump is faring in each.
Muscle Out the Opposition
There are several exercises you can–and really, you must, do, to maintain knees in prime knee-jerk health. See this knee-health primer by the good folks at Health for exercises to keep your leg-benders-extenders-and-flexors in tip-top Alt-shape.
This way, when you hear that it’s now incontrovertible fact that Russia did and will meddle in our elections, you can wait less than a beat before declaring that its Barack Obama’s fault and, oh, yeah, Hillary’s emails.
Real Supplements to Combat Fake News
Just to be clear, “fake news” is what we Alt-righters call anything in the MSM we don’t want to accept because it doesn’t confirm our biases, would require us to doubt President Trump if we accepted it as true, or would necessitate our admitting we were wrong about something, which our egos simply won’t allow.
So, when confronted with such “fake news,” we must respond with an immediate, strong, knee-jerk reaction. Four nutritional supplements can help keep your knees in a condition to do so: turmeric, ginger, Glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate, and fish oil, according to Arthritis Health.
Hold It Right There Ms. Expert
Part of the Trump revolution the Administration’s war on expertise. When an expert in is or her field, who has spent years researching a topic offers an informed opinion on a given topic, supported by carefully-arrived-at facts, we must immediately find pathetic and embarrassing ways of feebly attempting to delegitimize them.
Before doing so, we at SYRW recommend five knee bends up and down right were you’re standing. Of course you must consult your doctor before beginning this exercise regimen or any others in this article
Give a Knee to the Groin of Liberal News
We in the Alt/far-right community are sticking to our guns, pun intended. If President Donald Trump knocked on the door to the SYRW offices and told us, “I colluded with Russia, I and my administration are corrupt in a million different ways, I lie constantly to boost my ego, and I care about helping my friends in Big Bussiness instead of my economically downtrodden base of supporters that continues to support me,” we’d have one or more knee-jerk reactions to these admissions by Trump about why they’re not true. And now, with the information above our right-wing knees can be in excellent shape to jerk-forward as we react with confirmatory glee to any news that Trump said or did something positive, and react with disbelieving disdain to any news he said or did something negative. Blind faith!
Also: Take the President Trump Talk the Talk Walking Tour.
Until next week, dear readers, go forth and be well–as well as an Alt-right-er can be, that is, given our souls’ decrepit state.
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© 2018 Akbar Khan
