How you can use 3 elements of interior design basics to push-back against the left and make the world a worse place than it is!/Image Credit: Licensed Shutterstock stock, Amador Garcia Sarduy.
Greetings, interior design enthusiast and right-wing nut jobs! This week in Interiors were going to review three dimensions of design basics that we haven’t in this column yet. We were saving them to do a separate column on, because we want you to Alt-do something special with them in mind. Use them to demonstrate in your home what you wish were the invalidity of three of the Liberal Left’s most insidious campaigns to demarginalize marginalized groups. How could they! Well, they’re not going to get away with it. And pretty soon, your domicile will help stop them dead in their do-gooder tracks.
Five + Three
We’ve already covered five basic elements of visual artistry that our friends at dummies.com, which is obviously the go-to website for those on the right wing. This is because we are, in fact, dummies ourselves! To refresh, those five aspects are color, form, line, mass, and texture. But there are three more that must factor into any interior design decision you’re going to make. They are: space, light, and pattern, according to Launchpad Academy. Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) covered the first five in an article on design inspiration for the white-collar prison cell.
Now all of us design whackadoodles at SYRW want to review how you can use the other three in your very own right-wing-push-back-against-left-wing-campaigns-of-tolerance-and-acceptance pursuits. Truly, what could be a better use for the sacred place known as home sweet home, given that it’s a reflection of you and your ideals?
Give Us Some Space, Already, Left Wing!
The left, in their eternal campaigns–one after the other after the other–to make U.S. society more inclusive and less hostile to what have traditionally been marginalized groups, has done some awful stuff. They’ve made us, the traditionally-privileged, because we’re petulant children developmentally speaking, feel like we’re not the center of the world and we might have to share spoils of our abundant society with these others. Very unfair, as Donald Trump, our hero would say.
Related: See why Steve Bannon was so happy as he left a meeting in D.C. this week.
In their overzealous campaigns to let people who’ve suffered bigotry-based abuse, bullying, and violence know that there are places they can be sure are free of these forms of prejudicial thinking, they come up with the idea of “Safe Spaces.” These are places, mostly on college campuses, where people are guaranteed freedom from hate, mistreatment, and bias. When this safe space idea began to go too far, the left actually modified it, as evidenced by this Chicago Tribune story, capable as that side of the ideological spectrum is of progress, unlike us.
But we’re still harping on how Safe Spaces are making us feel like we can’t rant and rave against traditionally-marginalized groups anytime, anyplace–and that’s what we’re used to, so we want it. It’s our right to be thoughtless, careless, insensitive bullies whenever and wherever we want, and we refuse to suffer the indignity of altering our behavior and not behave that way for anyone, no matter what the stakes are.
So how can you make your home decor choices use space to support and normalize the idea of UNsafe Spaces. hm, SYRW readers? How about throwing a brick through your own living room window, never getting it fixed or cleaning up the broken glass, as an indication to all who enter your abode that anything can and has happened there. Or maybe a coffee table with a set of brass knuckles as the centerpiece, signaling to anyone who might drop by that one false move, and their faces are going to get an unhappy introduction to that weapon on your tableau? You might even try
We don’t want to leave our cultural comfort zone of always feeling valued and validated by having to acknowledge Safe Spaces, so we’re going to make everyone always feel devalued and invalidated–UNsafe!
Light It on Fire
Another one of the left-wing’s acceptance campaigns comes from our favorite punching bag on the right, the Fake News media. This vital pillar of democracy isn’t made up of hard-working journalists doing their best to bring us the news we need to make informed decisions, striving for objectivity if not always achieving it, and walking a fine line of reporting the unvarnished truth about people they also need as sources for their stories. Sounds complicated and like we might have some respect for their mission and work. But, heck no! Instead, we’ll just rail against them for being involved in one of our favorite topics on the right of the political spectrum, a liberal conspiracy to deluge us with news that is a weapon in their attack on us and our ideological comfort zones.
And: Get the skinny on the right-wing dating app you’ve got to try: Dividr!
The Washington Post, given that it’s one of the prime examples of a liberal Fake News medium, had the gall to reveal the following as their new slogan: Democracy dies in darkness. As if! As if they’re trying to shed light on the truth! Only Fox News, InfoWars, Breitbart, the Washington Times, and other right-wing publications are doing that, because they’re writing stories about the “truths” we want to–need to–believe.
In your home decor endeavors, there are a few ways you could instantiate an opposition to this liberal crusade by the Post. You could hang blackout curtains in front of all your windows, then seal them with duct tape, so that not even a speck of daylight ever enters your home. You could do everything by dim candlelight, which is easy to do things surreptitiously in. You could live your entire life in the cellar, dank and dim as it naturally is.
When someone asks about the blackout curtains, the candlelight, the living in what amounts to a dungeon, you’ll have an informative response at the ready, we trust. Make it something like, “Because the Left wants us to believe their media is just trying to light the way to democracy and freedom, well I don’t care! I want to live in ignorance, ignore that which is uncomfortable for me to recognize, and live like it’s the Middle Ages, which was a great period for the right-wing!”
Following a Pattern
Whenever the Left wants to point out our dear President Trump, or one of his lackeys, is doing something they take issue with, they say it follows a pattern peculiar to that person or a pattern common in our culture. In this story on John Kelly’s telling bald-faced lies about Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fl.) at a White House press briefing in a failed attempt to negate her criticism of Pres. Trump’s treatment of Gold Star widow Myeshia Johnson, The Intercept says it fits a pattern of not believing black women.
Well, arch-conservatives. So it’s not just that we don’t have a problem continuing a pattern of disbelieving black women. We actually enjoy, support, and celebrate the ongoing repetition of this pattern.
Now, let’s get to work figuring out how to make this proud pattern to bear on your interior design choices. Wallpaper is always a good place to make use of pattern, right, SYRW readers? Maybe get some wallpaper with a floral pattern and then scrawl at regular intervals between the flowers, “Black Women Not Believed Here?”
Or how about the pattern on a throw tossed casually on your family-room couch? You could knit into it Frederica Wilson’s face in a red circle with a big, red line across it and the words, “Not interested ever, inherently” underneath that image.
You could even have a refrigerator magnet that spells out the name “Jim” followed by a magnet of the image of a crow arranged in a repetitive series on that food storage behemoth in your kitchen.
Inspiration From All Sides
Just remember, really get creative with this. Design inspiration can come from anywhere–except the Left.
Until next week, our little reactionary Martha Stewarts!
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© 2018 Akbar Khan
