Jeanine Pirro, star of Justice With Jeanine on Fox News–but also star of Trump Nation!/Image: YouTube.
Today in Readings, we’re going to review a new biography about the later/latter life of Jeanine Pirro, a Fox News personality and shining light of humanity and justice. She’s working tirelessly, now, to do something so vital and necessary for social and political fairness, which is why Jan Coultman rushed this book to print and we review it today.
A Soul–Who Needs One of Those?
How I Lost My Soul: The Later Life of Jeanine Pirro is by Jan Coultman, a biographer of right-wing celebrities.
It’s a riveting read and also a manual explaining how to achieve the heights of moral depravity Pirro has, which will then get you your own show on Fox News.
As we always say at Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) all babies are born with a good, moral, beautiful soul. Luckily, it can be corrupted out of them over the course of just a few years, which then primes them to work for Satan-based right-wing causes.
Jeanine Pirro, hence was born with a soul, we assume. By now, however, at the age of 66, there’s barely a trace of it!
She’s a former judge, prosecutor, and Republican politician from New York state–Westchester County to be exact.
She’s been a pal of St. Donald Trump for a long time, the lucky dame, and now is fully in his pocket. This is especially important and fabulous for a timely, vital reason right this moment.
Mueller Madness
Pirro has used her Fox News show platform, Justice With Jeanine, as a pulpit from which to preach, love, peace, understanding, and truth.
The big truth everyone needs to be made aware of right now, of course, is that Robert Mueller is a rare, honest Washington personality who is trying to expose what we all Alt-know about Donald Trump, but can’t admit or allow to become any plainer-as-day than it is, because that would involve admitting we were wrong, and our egoes simply won’t allow that. Down with facts, democracy, and non-corrupt institutions instead. The truth about Mueller is trying to get at in an ineluctable form, of course, is that President Trump and his family are repugnant, corrupt horrors who colluded with the Kremlin to get His Orangeness elected. Of course, in Fox News/hard-right Republican/SYRW circles, which we don’t need to remind you, but will, this is a good thing! It’s good!
“There is a core group of arrogant, corrupt, and lawless individuals that felt that they, and not we, should decide a presidential election. And when they failed, they conspired to create the false narrative to not just muddy our choice for president but to bring down his presidency and his family as well,” Pirro said on her landfill-based show on Fox News on December 16th about the Mueller investigation, according to the New York Times and recounted proudly by Coultman in How I Lost My Soul.
Now, you might be thinking that much of that is actually an apt, succinct description of Donald Trump and his administration from right-wing hell. But no, Pirro is one of us: a truly evil person who’s soul has necrotized and vacated the Alt-Barbie Doll shell it must have once inhabited.
False Knowledge Is Half the Battle
Don’t Miss: How to make your home a sanctuary of Bannon nihilism.
We love twisting words for our own uses here at SYRW, like G.I. Joe’s motto in this case. We’re always trying to helping you understand how to use the knowledge that we impart in our posts to live a debased, moralless Alt-life!
What we hope you’ll do with your mid-life path, or at whatever point you’re at right now, to do what Pirro is using hers to do.
First: “Sexy as hell,” is how our BFF Trump, Sr. described her, according to New York Magazine and described in Coultman’s biography. And she loves it, as any woman should.
“The Pirros wear their success with what one friend calls a nouveau riche flash. ‘She is someone who loves the spotlight,” says longtime friend and local radio talk-show host William O’Shaughnessy. ‘And the spotlight loves her. She comes to the studio and the guys here all drool over her.” And for good reason. Pirro is in top shape,’ according to New York Magazine.
Sexy as hell, as determined by a low-class manchild, like Donald Trump, is the highest ideal for all women to aspire to, obviously. Then you’re worthy of having your “pussy” grabbed, after all!
The next thing all SYRW readers should take from How I Lost My Soul is that we shouldn’t resist a descent into utter moral perversion, as Pirro hasn’t resisted, as evidenced most clearly by her attack on Mueller. Instead of letting Mueller’s investigation take its course and the truth to come out, which would show faith in the American judicial system, which, as a lawyer, she should have, and as a faux Fox-patriot she should be championing, she’s chosen a different, higher path. She’s chosen, and we hope all our readers will too, to further chip away at the public’s faith in our democratic institutions, which deepens social divides and foments chaos. To do this, she has to trumpet total, bald-faced lies to her millions and millions of viewers, and do it with no compunctions at all (though we wouldn’t be surprised if she takes regular breaks to spit at her own reflection in the mirror at the Fox News studios where her show tapes). This is the greatest Alt-height anyone can claw their way to!
The Number One Thing to Take From Her Bio
And lastly, she’s the opposite of humble, self-aware, and critical-thinking. She’s loud and obnoxious, deluded and delusional, reactionary and simple-minded. She has no ethical code, much like Donald Trump lacks one. She simply loves attention and money and anything that brings them. If the Trump and the right wing were to begin praising Mueller, you better believe Pirro would be doing it faster than you can say, “I’m Satan’s representative on Earth!” Watching Justice With Jeanine is like having a bulldog in makeup scream at you for an hour. When you’re the opposite of sensitive and tender of soul, like most people on the right, this is not only not a problem, but a good thing.
As long is it further bloats her personal coffers in the form of money, money, money, she’ll do it. And we hope you’re the same SYRW readers.
Right wing gold. That’s what this woman is. Right. Wing. Gold.
Run out and get a copy of How I Lost My Soul: The Later Life of Jeanine Pirro. Get a copy of this gem today. Keep it by your bedside and open it for inspiration–i.e, soul-suicide–each morning.
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© 2017 Akbar Khan
