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Let’s Get Squared Away on Bannon Nihilism First
Nihilism, many people assume, is synonymous with pessimism or cynicism, a seen-it-all jadedness. We at Spread Your RIght Wings (SYRW) have a different way of, at least, using the word. To us, it’s much more appealing and praiseworthy, than some blase world-view of unmoored rich kids in the suburbs. In that case, these hypothetical kids, who we’ll just continue riffing on to make our case, could read a book, or meet a person, or visit a place, that would make them believe in something. And then, they would argue for it, protest for it, laugh and cry because of it–they would care about something,
Nihilism, to us here at SYRW, to be sure, is a moral vacuum, a void, not caring about anything, a “meh,” attitude, sure. But the Steven K. Bannon school, if you will, of that worldview, is much more complicated. It cares a little about one thing; mayhem, shaking things up, “draining the swamp.” Bannon would be working on a Democrat’s political campaign if he thought that was the ticket to a cushy White House office from which to foment chaos, to throw a theoretical hand-grenade into the entrenched power structures in D.C. Bannon is not motivated by some populist love of the people and desire to see a workingman’s revolution. Oh, please! He simply likes destructiveness for its own sake.
Nihilistic Decor (Nih-Decor)
We went to an unlikely place for some inspiration to come up with seven starter Nih-decor home decorating topics: Elle Decor.. We were predictably disappointed! That publication is very traditional, glossy, and mainstream, it likes things and has a vision. But you know us here at SYRW: we have a knack for taking anything and making it the Alt reflection of itself! So we used some tips found therein to guide you in Nih-decor.
So, if you want the original article the following tips are based on, visit the above link.
Otherwise, to get your home to a be a place where Steve Bannon might ask to crash the next time he’s in town, read on!
Also: Did you know Ty Cobb did this before accepting the position of head WH legal counsel?
One: High-Low Design
Now, by “High-Low design,” the original Elle Decor article meant, “Expensive-cheaper.” Oh, but we students of Bannon know what almost nobody will say: he’s on drugs, in particular methamphetamines. So, our interpretation of “High-Low design” is “high as in drugs” and “low as in crashes from drug binges.” Meth, after prolonged use, turns the user into a robot who no longer has a soul, and can, say, play a video game for three days straight without moving. Users become mechanized, robotic–the epitome of not caring. There have no ability to care.
So, go out and get your self a bunch of glass pipes, from a smoke shop, that meth-heads would smoke crystal in. Arrange them in a fun, flirty way on your coffee table or nightstand.
Then devote one room to a giant bed with a naked mattress and musty comforter. Put trash bags over the windows as blackout curtains, securing them with duct tape. After all, if you were on crystal meth, you’d spend days at a time passed out in it after long stretches of being awake.
Related: See how six members of Trump-World live the six dimensions of Wellness every day!
Two: Invite Nature Indoors
Perhaps the cure for nihilism is nature, but not because nature is cuddly and cute and loving, but because humans are meant to be surrounded by living beings and the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings of being in the natural world.
So, whatever you do, DON’T FOLLOW THIS RULE!
Although, if you really are just fiending to bring some piece of “nature” indoors, make it asphalt. It’s as common as trees once were. first of all. And nothing says, “There is no attention to design here, we simply needed to have a surface to get automobiles as fast as possible from point A to point B.” It’s the construction version of nihilism.
Three: Don’t Sacrifice Comfort
This tip may have been written by a nihilist. No matter how little one cares about anything, the one thing people can’t give up is physical comfort. So even in the throes of a nihilistic design coup, it’s A-ok to go with comfort.
Four: Let a Locale Inspire You
Absolutely, not! We forbid it, and we’re now convinced the editors of Elle Decor are “well-traveled,” “worldly”, and likely yellow or brown-skinned themselves!
There is only one locale that matters: The U. S. of A.
You should design in red, white, and blue, therefore, to your heart’s content, and with little squares of white stars in parallel rows in as many places as you want.
Five: Buy Two Great Pieces a Year
Okay, again: NO!
“Buy two great pieces per minute!” is more like it. We have written in other posts about how consumption is part of the right-wing project, as it fuels capitalism, the morally bankrupt code we all live by.
And it fits in perfectly with nihilism, as it kills the soul and mind!
So buy, buy, buy!
Six: Invest Where It Matters
Uh, nothing matters. So, no.
Seven: Your Chairs Don’t Have to Match.
Don’t Miss: Our resident social worker guides you through setting up an Alt-Right dinner date.
Yaaaaaassssssssssss! Now these people are getting it! Your chairs don’t have to match, because: they could match, they could not match, who cares…
Now, Experiment!
Now that you know the basics of Nih-decor, experiment with it, expand on it, add layers and nuance to it. Or, you know, don’t. Neither we nor you care. About anything.
We at Spread Your Right Wings generally don’t like people, the Internet, or interacting with people on the Internet. Seek out someone—in person—to talk to and laugh with about this article. Check back with us as we continue to mock the right wing. Follow us on Twitter at @worstaltlife join our Facebook group, and follow us on Instagram at @worstaltlife. If you simply must get in touch with us, DM us through our Facebook group. Also, please, please see the disclaimer in our About section.
© 2017 Akbar Khan
