The hate that dare not speak its name–that which we Alt-Right-ers harbor in our hearts../Licensed Adobe Stock, Robert Lehmann.
A Mother Dismayed
Dear Dr. MacEnnaKnee,
I need advice on raising kids. I am a stay-at-home mom from a town outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. I am a proud, white, conservative Christian, and I pride myself on raising my eighteen children to be the same. My eldest daughter, Nicole, is in high school, so my fears are greatest for her that intellectual licentiousness will get a hold of her mind by way of indoctrination into the beliefs of liberal thinking on topics like “evolution,” bathroom and fair voting laws, and all the broad-minded, compassion-based insanity these progressive monsters are trying remake our society through.
Wouldn’t ya’ know, she came home yesterday and asked me to quiz her for her human sexuality class. I probably don’t even have to go any further, do I? Gays, contraception, abortion–the topics of this quiz just got more and more disturbing! I can’t afford a rigid-thinking, conservative, private school where progressive thoughts would actually, literally be smacked out of her. What do I do?
Frightened in Cincinnati
Related: Dr. MacEnnaKnee tells you all you need to know to set up a romantic, Alt-Right first date!
Dear Frightened,
I had to get under the covers and put a flashlight under my chin while reading your letter, because it sounds like a horror story!
You must get a handle on things, for sure! You can’t let Nicole be perverted by the liberal ideals of inclusivity, compassion, and rights for all humans!
I’m so sorry that we conservative whack jobs have been on the losing end of the cultural stick for so long, allowing concepts like inclusiveness and, a belief in an objective reality, to poison poor dears like wee Nicole. But with President Trump now leading us, we’re quickly regaining ground, saying, “Screw you, reality! I don’t want to accept you! We’re back in charge of things, and forcing reality to conform to our narrow, self-serving, hate-based ideals! The only people who matter are members of our tribe! In that sense we’re white ISIS!
First, Control Their Words–Everything Else Will Follow
A brilliant right-wing fascist said that, and I advise you, Frightened, to use the concept as the underpinning for the way you raise Nicole.
And in fact, something Trump’s glorious administration did recently is how I recommend you approach the problem you’re having with Nicole. According to the Fake News Washington Post, though in this case, it’s the Real News Washington Post, because it reported news I want to believe.
Anyway, the Trump administration, according to WaPo, has banned the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), a powerful, important agency, part of that nebulous, yet all-compassing Deep State trying to control us, from using the following words: “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based” and “science-based.” And guess who else may not use these words: that’s right–your daughter, Nicole!
After all the complaining the right wing has done about liberals trying to make us be “politically correct” by making certain words, like say, I don’t, “fa–ot” unacceptable to use in public forms; their focus on “trigger words” to protect wimpy, snowflake students in the university; etc., isn’t it fun that we can now control language? And interesting that when it serves our purposes, we have zero problem banning certain words. Hm–never thought about it that way until now. But better not think about it too much, because then I’d see what intellectually bankrupt cretins we are. Don’t want that! Nope, nope, and nope again!
Don’t Miss: A Review of Annie Coulter’s “How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)–a real literary gem!
Language Creates Reality
The way we talk about things is what those things become, Frightened.
Once you’ve cleansed Nicole’s mind of the above-listed words, you can start re-introduce them on your own, right-wing, terms replacing them with, “if you’re vulnerable, it’s your fault,” “you aren’t entitled to anything just because human life should be respected, so forget about government hand-outs,” “diversity complicates things unnecessarily,” “there’s no such thing as a fetus, because once an egg has been fertilized it’s a human,” “there is no such thing as evidence, there’s just what we want to present as information to be taken as fact, and my personal favorite, “science is Fake News.”
Aren’t you starting to feel better already, Frightened? I can’t wait to hear how things go for you weeks and months after you’ve instituted this at-home speech code.
The Fake/Real news Washington Post’s new slogan is, “Democracy dies in darkness.” Well, that’s just negative thinking, I say! Let’s rethink that: “Lies thrive in darkness.” Silver, conservative linings my dear, Frightened. Silver, conservative linings.
Must-Read: Did you know WH counsel Ty Cobb used to do this?
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© 2017 Akbar Khan
