I’m gonna be president one day, you wuss!/Image: Licensed Adobe stock, tomalu.
Salutary and Salubrious Salutations, traditionalist health-seekers!
Now let us ask you something:: how was your last experience of being stuffed inside your locker? What about having your lollipop knocked out of your hand and watching it fall into the dirt? What about having your president call people names, talking about grabbing women in their junk, and saying all of a certain people are rapists? We at Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) hope that’s all working out really well for you. At this point, you probably a) are well aware that Don Jon engages in bullying behavior b) are well aware and like it or c) are well aware and wish to continue making excuses for it. Good life choices, everyone! Let’s explore bullying, its origins, development, and treatment, shall we? And then let’s ask ourselves if DTrump is, in fact, a bully.
Ornery Origins
First, let’s talk about what this behavior, bullying, is.
It “is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way smaller, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully,” according to Psychology Today (PT), it’s different than “garden-variety” aggression, according to the good folks at that publication. We guess it’s different than other aggression because it targets those who are not a threat to the bully. Also, bullies are often bullied themselves. “It’s a sword that cuts both ways,” as Faye Dunaway’s Joan Crawford said in one of the greatest films of all time, Mommie Dearest.
According to PT, bullies are “made not born.” What makes a baby grow into a bully? What makes a little Don Jon grow up into a President Dickhead? Bullying stems from trauma, such as abuse,, they say, but it looks like Our Commander-in-Chief has had a pretty damn good life. Of course, there are a whole lot of ways he could have suffered trauma that no one would know about if he didn’t tell them.
Also, according to PT the following traits would appear to predispose a child to bullying: “[B]ullies lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others’ feelings.” Jackpot!
Related: See what the gang does to unwind during downtime at 1600 Pennslyvania Avenue.
The Inadvertent Bully-ist
First, there was The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler. Then there was The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid. Now, there will be The Oopsie-Daisy Bully by SYRW.
For perhaps Donny Jonny is a whole new phenomenon–an inadvertent bully, He’s just trying to get stuff done politically and–whoops!–he bullied someone. He had bigger things on his mind, so as he was working them out, some people may have gotten bullied as collateral damage. His Orangeness meant to give a rousing speech, and he just got carried away by his passion, so a few ethnic slurs and attacks on women’s physicality came out. Or, to, put more bluntly: he’s just a shithead.
The one thing that rang true for us as we here at SYRW as researched bullying and bullies and their relation to The Don Man is this that bullies are not short on self-esteem and generally think a lot of themselves. That sure as hell seems like Agent Orange! Of course, his pleased-with-himself credentials really seem to go beyond just seeing himself in a good light. He has a delusional, borderline psychotic, view that he’s “a genius,” “winning,” and going to “make America great again.” Based on what, DJT–your previous six bankruptcies, your two failed marriages, or your failure to grasp in a year even the most fundamental things about national politics or the act of governing?
It’s Not All Black and White and Orange
PT also points out the following: “No one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either.” Meaning, bullies are drawn to, if you will, in their bullying life pursuits, those who exude fear and passivity. Again, by this metric, Tiny Hands doesn’t fit the bill totally perfectly either, as he’ll target anyone: the weak, yes; but also people who whose privilege and entitlement are on par with his; or even people who could be political allies if he were savvier. He appears to lash out almost willy-nilly or at least based simply on whoever’s getting his goat at the moment.
And: Join our Take Back the Light™ from marginalized groups campaign.
So, once again, a big part of this may be that he’s just not that into not being a terrible person.
Time Heals All Wounded Bullies
Another factor to consider in the “is ‘bully’ the right label for Donnykins?” question is how, temporally, his treatment of people shows great variance. He once bashed Nikki Haley on Twitter, only to name her UN Ambassador months later. He claimed to “love” Oprah at one time, but after she interviewed Trump voters on what they thought of their fabulous choice for prez a year later for 60 Minutes, he attacked her, too, on Twitter. And he goes up and down, back and forth, with the attacks on Attorney General Jeff Sessions, for a time with Paul Ryan, Chuck Schumer/Nancy Pelosi.
So once again we come to the fact that there’s no pattern of behavior in this sense, it’s just a lunatic mind acting out under stress. Nancy Collins interviewed Trumpistan on marriage, and she noted recently on CNN that he always seemed like a sexist pig (our words), but what’s different now is the anger and bile that accompanies his low opinion of women. The good news is, aside from I-Need-the-Money-Melania and Complicit-Ivanka, ain’t too many women gon’ be disappointed by that news. Or surprised.
Once more for the cheap seats in the back, all evidence seems to be pointing to not so much a bully, but a person of low, low, low, down-and-dirty character.
Doctor No
White House Doctor Ronny Jackson in January said President Trump isn’t senile, in early Alzheimer’s, or suffering any sort of dementia. You know the good doctor’s on the take, though. Let’s assume for a moment Trump isn’t slipping the guy some cash under the examining table, however, for argument’s sake. Perhaps, Trump is just stressed out, tired, and in an incredibly demanding job that he never thought he’d actually have to accept (of course, he could have just forfeited to Hillary, but his ginormous ego probs wouldn’t allow that). All of this would make even the best of us a little cranky, snappish, and just not in the mood. With someone who has the character of…well, of a horrible person, it may just be bringing out all his worst impulses and drives.
Also: Take a jaunt with us to the states that need the most gerrymandering!
So, as we noted above he may be a new sort of bully, The Inadvertent Bully-ist. In any case, traditional bully or not, we on the right are super-thrilled he’s our president, and we’ll continue to support Donathan like captains going down with a sinking ship.
We at Spread Your Right Wings generally don’t like people, the Internet, or interacting with people on the Internet. Seek out someone—in person—to talk to and laugh with about this article. Check back with us as we continue to mock the right wing. Follow us on Twitter at @worstaltlife join our Facebook group, and follow us on Instagram at @worstaltlife. If you simply must get in touch with us, DM us through our Facebook group. Also, please, please see the disclaimer in our About section.
© 2018 Akbar Khan
