The Cut, Cut, Cut GOP tax bill is everything, everything/Image Credit: Licensed Adobe Stock, Michael Petrov,
I’ve Been Bad, And It Was Good
I have a confession to make, fellow Alt-Right-ers. I did something awful recently, but I did it for the greater, right-wing good. I watched an episode of All In With Chris Hayes. It wasn’t because I wanted intelligent, rational analyses of the news he delivers–I want Fox News all the time! No, it was because I wanted to see what The Other Side is thinking and doing. And I was, in a roundabout sort of way, happily surprised!
Hayes, was, as always, trying to and succeeding in show why conservative politics, in this case, the glorious and eminently fair GOP tax plan, is unwise, promotes inequality, and does nothing to better the lot of the middle and lower classes. That’s, of course, what we on the right wing do want, want, so, hooray!
Hayes pointed out that this tax bill pushing against constant resistance from lefty Congress members and weak-willed conservative ones is set to, without a doubt, benefit only corporations and their CEOs. Those CEOs are the subject of this column.
Trickle-Down Turns Our Right-Wing Frown Upside Down!
Now, Hayes noted that the trickle-down idea behind this GOP tax “reform” plan is essentially that tax cuts for corporations and the ultra-rich will, yes, trickle down to the less wealthy classes. When the CEO’s have more money, what else would they do with it than give it to their workers? They certainly would never reinvest it in their own businesses or use it to stuff their own personal coffers. That is simply unimaginable.
If you can say one thing about what it takes to be a CEO it’s empathy, so this is a no-brainer for us. But Hayes, being an MSNBC liberal, was arguing that Trickle Down philosophy was a misguided, if not knowingly corrupt argument that has been disproved time and time again. We at Spread Your Right Wings (SYRW) know it’s wise and salutary–and if it’s not, who cares, because we conservatives are here to benefit the corporations and 1%.
The GOP tax bill will benefit everyone for this simple, undeniable reason that Hayes pointed out mockingly, but in doing so, of course, made our wrongheaded point for us: if corporations have more money, their CEOs will use such economic windfalls to benefit workers by increasing wages. If the movers and shakers have more money, so will the unwashed masses–simple as that! What could go wrong? What argument can the bleeding hearts advance against this offensively simple-minded one?
We can thank Ronald Reagan for instituting the people-centric economic policies that became known as “Trickle-Down Economics.” Learned economists gave his policies this name to ridicule them. But the name stuck, because these genius policies work. Why? Well, because we on the right wing want to believe they do. If we can convince ourselves Trickle-Down is a good idea, then we can fight tooth and nail to enact it. And just as a side benefit, the greedy, profit-obsessed cherry on top of this conservative economic policy cake will be that the rich (us) get richer, and the less privileged and disadvantaged get…well, nothing!
An Elegant Moniker
President Trump suggested calling this glorious tax bill the “Cut, Cut, Cut Bill,” in a typically poetic linguistic achievement by Mr. Agent Orange. It cuts taxes for the rich, cuts into the strides in fair and just economic policies instituted under President Obama, and cuts out the ability of those with little or no opportunity to or assistance in improving their lives (the 99%) to fail to take “personal responsibility” for picking themselves up by their bootstraps. So, cut, cut, cut, indeed!
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© 2017 Akbar Khan
